Mom is in immense pain. I am not sure whether I would want to read this... but this blog voice some of the most painful moments I have seen in life. I say seen, because I can't even begin to feel her pain. Mom is in constant pain for the last 3 days, the headaches continue unabated. Without meals and on lesser meds (we gave up on some because it was impossible for her to keep them down in her state of nausea) she is getting weaker day by day. Days and nights melt into an unending stream of pain and fitful episodes of sleep. Living on tea and toast - something she is barely able to take in and keep down, life is at an all time low. Apparently there are no meds that can reduce the pain... what are all the multibillion dollar researches accomplishing, I wonder.
It's painful and looks like it is all just going downhill. No medication, no help, nothing for her - so what do we expect the patient to do? Just bear the pain and carry on like this? Seems like the answer is yes!
I pray to my Lord that he relieves her of the pain and just makes it easy for her and for us, especially Daddy.. He's the one who is hardest hit and the one who is bearing most of the burden. He is a darling and we had long harped on their love for each other and how they were always looking out for each other. It is sad to see the things they gave their life to wither away. Brain tumor must probably be one of teh most cruel diseases. I won't wish it upon my enemy. Lord save us all. Amen.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Boring is good. Pain is not.
About a month ago I posted my first blog on DISGRUNTLD. Life hasn't changed much since then, at least not for the better. My mom's is still in pain :( and my baby is still babbling away incessantly while we watch him closely for occurrence of his first words LOL.
Mom's radiotherapy ended a week ago. The pains did not. Add to that nausea, indigestion, cold allergies and her constant harping on the fact that the whole treatment has done her no good. Life seems dismal sometimes, until I indulge in some guilty movie/TV watching... if there's something captivating on there then for couple of minutes life seems just okay. Just the way it has been throughout my life - not too great but nothing much to complain about. I wish that average, uneventful and boring existence would come back. Days when I would wake up to my mom planning the day's meals or cooking away in the kitchen and I would wish I had some more excitement in my life than to choose between helping her in the kitchen or not helping her. Homeliness has never been my way of choice - but here I am trying to do the best I can while I do enough to scrape by from day to day.
Mom has been talking of her NOT getting well .. which means the obvious. Today she talked of giving to my son the jewelery which I had gifted to her three years ago. I wish I could buy back some life or at least some health by selling off that jewelry. What good did it do to her? And what good would it do to me, I wonder ...
I wish life was simple. You could just spend some money and buy happiness. Then we could all focus on just making money .. enough to buy health and happiness for our families and ourselves.
Let's see what the passing days would bring to me. Will keep the blog posted - and with more frequency than I have shown so far.
:)
Mom's radiotherapy ended a week ago. The pains did not. Add to that nausea, indigestion, cold allergies and her constant harping on the fact that the whole treatment has done her no good. Life seems dismal sometimes, until I indulge in some guilty movie/TV watching... if there's something captivating on there then for couple of minutes life seems just okay. Just the way it has been throughout my life - not too great but nothing much to complain about. I wish that average, uneventful and boring existence would come back. Days when I would wake up to my mom planning the day's meals or cooking away in the kitchen and I would wish I had some more excitement in my life than to choose between helping her in the kitchen or not helping her. Homeliness has never been my way of choice - but here I am trying to do the best I can while I do enough to scrape by from day to day.
Mom has been talking of her NOT getting well .. which means the obvious. Today she talked of giving to my son the jewelery which I had gifted to her three years ago. I wish I could buy back some life or at least some health by selling off that jewelry. What good did it do to her? And what good would it do to me, I wonder ...
I wish life was simple. You could just spend some money and buy happiness. Then we could all focus on just making money .. enough to buy health and happiness for our families and ourselves.
Let's see what the passing days would bring to me. Will keep the blog posted - and with more frequency than I have shown so far.
:)
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